not sure whether ppl today is getting less patience or am i getting too nagging? it is really amazing that human have the power to influence others as well as to be influenced by others... guess i have been living by myself since 10years ago, eventho i moved back home after i graduated, i worked on the island & lived by myself in a smaller space. things were mostly done in my way, until recently, i moved back to share my space under one wider roof.
i am surrounded by criticism, sarcasm, complains, blames, arguement, nag, comparison every damn day without fail. i guess that is where miscommunications starts & ppl got fedup & gave up.
i began to doubt my communications skill, began to doubt am i over-communicated (eventually became nagging like an 80 yr old grandma) or am i just not good in communication... esp to express my thoughts... or do i even think the "right" way?!
as i used to work in creative lines & communicate with ideas with crazy bunch of people, ideas may be great, outstanding, lousy, shit, childish, sleek, classic, boombastic, shocking, daring & etc... unfortunately, due to the over trust of my "sense", i diverted to diff route. ever since then, i realised that my creative power has decreased. ideas come very slowly these days & they will be gone with the wind if i dont jote it down in my notebook, they cant even register in my brain for long!! which i am very upset about... something must be wrong in my memory space. sometimes i tried to add in a little comments to participate in a conversation, will most likely to be "gun down" by criticism or sarcasm via "m16"... which will commonly lead to arguement.
is my thinking too innocent at times? or am i really a dumbo who doesnt know how to live in reality? or am i always in dreamland mode who thinks things are simple? or ppl around my always make things complicated? or could it be i live in my own world for 10yrs & ppl just couldnt accept my thinking is unlike their "normal thinking"?!
most religious studies would coach human to be forgiving & forget the mistakes that we created. and that we have to believe in changes to be a better person... but i witness rejection than acceptance; give up than give in; pissed than peace!
i tried many times to make a clearer understanding, i elaborated my explainations so that we dont get misunderstanding, which most people usually doesnt understand my intentions & instead will comment that i am being too naggy, which eventually make me feel my communications is redundant.
perhaps i am really that abnormal, tat's why i have communication problem!
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